Is it just me, or does it seem like near the end of the year, everyone gets all excited about making promises to themselves that it seems a vast majority of people don’t end up keeping? I don’t know, it just seems silly because everyone goes around and tells everybody this is the year (as if it worked any better any other year) they are going to stop smoking/being fat/playing way too many video games/working out/<insert other positive motion here>. And then, they start the process, maybe get a month or two into the year only to realize that just like most of the rest of America, they don’t actually have the attention span to do whatever it was they set out to do – no matter how beneficial it would be to them in the end.
That is something I’ve just never done. I don’t see why I should start now, because I do better at things like that where it’s spur-of-the-moment and very little thought it put into it. But that is _fine_ because I will stick with a decision I’ve made. It seems like everything is so ultra-fast-paced-superspeed-racecar all the time that anything I even try to plan out fails as far as the plan goes, but is ressurected as I finish whatever the project or goal was in some out of whack coming-from-left-field way. Which, I’ll admit, is kinda nice. Stuff gets done in unconventional ways, and I meet my goals. Win/win for me, but not so much for anyone else who might try to plan out some big thing based around some part I might have in a grander scheme of things.
This also reminds me of setting up my server again, coincidentally the one this very blog is running on, for the 3rd or 4th time. This time I finally did something non debian based, in fact so much so that I ended up with FreeBSD. I didn’t just stop at installing FreeBSD though, I built the OS from the ground up (from source) which is why it took me 3 days instead of the standard 2 hours debian based installs take. That’s a function of me being new to BSD, and trying to compile an entire OS from source on an 800mhz Pentium 3. The latter being much more of a factor than the former.
In any case, I think I’ve found a purpose from this blog. Since I’ve never really liked writing or reading much, I figure I should learn to do both, if not by actual interest, but by force. The main thing I want to work on is actually being able to type out valid english with minimal grammatical issues which is something I’ve never really been able to do. I can communicate perfectly well, but I have this unfortunate habit of using English language conventions that don’t exist. They confuse people alot, and as such detract from my actual ability to communicate ideas. This troubles me because I have so many that I’d like to atleast document somewhere, if not actually tell people. My main issue is formatting my writing like one might if they were to write something as a speech were written, putting commas in for pauses, semicolons and colons for longer pauses. As well as bricking paragraphs by subject, not breaking them down to be easier for people to read. I started doing that along time ago because I read everything aloud (even if I’m not actually making any noise) so from that perspective it would make more sense to put commas in for dramatic pause effects and stuff. It doesn’t help any that I very regularly communicate through text based means (IRC mostly) which doesn’t have things such as facial expressions, body language, or connotation so you, as the user, must take it upon yourself to best express the meaning or connotation of whatever you’re saying so that it is misunderstood by as few people as possible. It can lead to horrible things from a simple misunderstanding of connotation.
Anyway, Stream of consciousness for the win.
